


Desperate

by oswin42



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Dysfunctional Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, jims brain doesn't know when to stop, mild violence, seb taking care of Jim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:45:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9478229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswin42/pseuds/oswin42
Summary: Jim's brain won't stop sometimes.He gets caught up in an idea and he can't stop working on it. Sebastian looks after him, does what is necessary to get Jim out of it and back to health.





	

Sebastian Moran liked his job, on most days anyway. Today wasn't one of those days. He'd come home from a job only to find Jim working on some mathematical problem again. He loved Jim, but sometimes the criminal was a handful. Sebastian sighed unhappily as he sat down opposite his boss. Jim's hair was messy and greasy, Jim's facial hair was untrimmed. There were sheets of paper and notebooks filled with numbers and letters and equations scattered around him.

Jim would get these moods where he would obsess over a mission or a mathematical problem for days on end. He would forget to sleep or eat or generally take care of himself.

His mind went back to the conversation he had with Jim after it had happened for the first time.

 

_"I can't help it." Jim had said "I get absorbed into an idea and I will do anything to continue."_   
_"Shouldn't you see a doctor then?"_   
_"They'll try to give me pills I can't think with."_   
_"So what do I do?" Seb finally asked_   
_"You hold me down until I'm no longer fighting desperately." Jim answered calmly and without emotion._

 

They'd set protocols after that. Seb didn't like them much, but at the same time he was thankful that Jim trusted him enough to do this.

He started stage one. He talked to Jim, random little bits about the mission, about shows on Telly, anything really. Jim wouldn't hear what he was saying anyway.

'Whatever it takes' he reminded himself before moving to stage two.

He put his hand on Jim's hand. Jim, as Seb had expected, tried to slap it away. Seb grabbed Jim's wrist and forced Jim to the floor. He lay on top of him, using his bodyweight to hold Jim down. Jim screamed. It was an agonizing scream, worse than anything else Seb had heard, and it broke Seb’s heart. It did so every single time. He couldn’t imagine how painful this must be for his boss. Jim had tears in his eyes from frustration while he struggled desperately against Seb, but Seb knew better than to let go. What came next was possibly worse. When Jim stopped screaming he started begging.

“I need it, let go of me. I need it like I need air. Just let me get back to it." Jim pleaded. His voice was raw and broken, barely more than a whisper, and utterly desperate. Still Seb did not let go of him. He knew better.

Only when Jim finally went quiet did Seb move away a little. He grabbed Jim by his collar and manhandled him over his shoulder.

On to stage three: getting Jim back to health.

  


Jim had written down some details for Seb to keep in mind, but had refused to talk about it further. The first pieces didn’t have a stage three. Only sleep. But Seb knew better than to just put Jim in his bed. Jim needed food. And so Sebastian did what he always did: He pushed Jim onto a chair and used tie wrap handcuffs to cuff Jim's wrists together (Jim was too good at picking handcuffs). He kept an eye on the man as he mixed protein powder through a jar of baby food.

 

_Normally Jim liked spicy food, anything full with flavor, but after one of the moods he hated it._   
_"The feeling in my mouth just gets too much" Jim explained when Seb had asked about it._   
_"So what's best?"_   
_"Simple stuff. Mushy peas, chicken.. things like those."_   
_"Babyfood?" Seb had asked in an attempt to annoy Jim._   
_"Could work" Jim said with a shrug and had turned back to what he had been doing._

 

Baby food was convenient and the extra protein powder was necessary. Seb thought Jim always ate too little, even on good days. He fed Jim. Spoonful by spoonful. Seb hated seeing his boss and boyfriend (partner? Neither term seemed fitting) so vulnerable, but at the same time he was glad that Jim at least trusted him enough to do this.

When Jim had finally eaten all of it Seb carried Jim to his bedroom and tucked him in. He pecked a soft kiss on Jim’s forehead and let him sleep.

  


Stage four only existed in Seb's mind. To Jim all was fine when he woke up the next day. That was, however, only because Seb looked after Jim.

Exhaustion leaves a hangover. Everyone who's been completely exhausted knows this. The next morning you wake up feeling like absolute shit. After he put Jim to sleep he checked if they had everything for breakfast before going to sleep himself.

 

He woke to the sound of the telly in the living room and, as he walked in, he found his boss watching some nature documentary. Jim was showered and shaved, but apparently not in a mood to talk yet. Seb just went and made breakfast.

Jim ate slowly on mornings like those, but it was one of the rare times that he would finish everything on his plate, instead of getting distracted halfway through. As Jim put his empty plate in the kitchen Seb could have sworn he heard his boss mumble a ‘thank you’ before going to his office and checking what work he’d missed.

Even on bad days things weren’t all bad.

  


**Author's Note:**

> For my Sebby.


End file.
